3003: extra·ordinary

Simple Solution

2011-11-24T07:04:00.001Z

You know some YouTube videos, especially the older ones, tend to have a lag between image and sound...? If it's just 1 sec or so, and the expression and timing of the opening and closing of the person's mouth is still more or less accurate, I wouldn't really bother. But sometimes when it lags for quite a bit and the person you see speaking is already totally different from the voice you hear, it gets hard to follow the whole video properly.

In this rare occasion that I'm not sharing something about my life in my blog, I want to tell you a simple solution to this problem. Maybe because your brain works in a more normal and logical way than mine (something not hard to achieve, because my brain's logic is never normal), you probably already thought about this "solution" AGES ago. But for those of you who haven't, I hope you'll find this helpful.

I used to (we're talking primary school - high school years here) record the sound of the video with the pc sound recorder in a quiet room first and then replay it by muting the original video and matching it with the sound. COMPLICATED right?Oh well I already told you, my brain is as silly as silly can be.

Anyway, I encountered this problem again today and it's been years since I intended to "solve" this, being complacent with minor lagging all along. But today I was confronted by "major lagging", which was still OK but just made the whole funny video less interesting. So I thought about my old solution, the recording one, and it felt like just too much trouble just for a short video clip. Then I thought instead of recording, maybe I could download the whole video and play the "sound" part with that. Then it struck me --- instead of downloading the video to play it, why not just open another same webpage?!

Haha... My brain is really illogical sometimes. What people have already thought of from the start, I need to think from the end of the line and progress to the start.

Oh well so there you have it, that's what I realised today. Just open two webpages of the same video and play one then play the other to sync it. Not as hard to sync as you would imagine, just 2 tries in 10seconds and I got it working perfectly. So happy with the result that I felt the need to share, hahaha!

Sometimes, certain seemingly complicated problems actually have a simple solution to them. I just need to get my brain thinking straight. :)

2011-11-07T10:38:00.001Z

有時候，不聯絡，是因爲你眼中的我和現在的我已經有落差。我不想你看到這樣的我，因爲連我也不敢面對這樣的自己。

打不死

2011-11-07T03:39:00.001Z

壓力、挫折、無理的阻力障礙、突然冒出的小事中事大事，來吧！！！我是打不死的！我要變強，我要學阿強x2，我要遇強愈強！！！P/S: A2 for Commercial Law essay, not bad considering the amount of time I spent on it. Yet to know for the other two essays, no high hopes. Not proud. Work harder.

Two essays

2011-10-24T12:45:00.001+01:00

Submitted two essays today, so tired but so relieved. One more next week. I dont understand why all social activities are happening on next weekend. Im already planning on missing all of them. Hide in my cave hard at work till November comes, then just when i think i can breathe a bit, exams will start. 😰 (blogger app test yo)

ALEB

2011-10-08T23:29:00.002+01:00

I'll only record happy things.I am happy today because I got the ALEB. Consolation prize for not being able to be there, but a good thing still.

Keep blogging

2011-09-30T00:38:00.000+01:00

I think of all the things I want to do but always put aside, I should really keep up blogging.

*

First there was summer. My dream-come-true moments, my not so glamorous moments.

But now that it's all over and behind me, I should really get back on track, stay focused. And I think blogging can help here.

*

Today felt quite warm, almost like a summer's day.

Double-packages to make a mark of who I am and what I like now, chips as celebration (oh god I really like salt & malt vinegar).

*

I keep losing focus and letting lazy-bones take over. Continuous motivation, be productive, work work work!

Oh ya I started my language class. I have to do it. I can juggle both. I don't care.

*

So yeah, I need to keep blogging, even though no-one understands what I'm writing, including me.

一定會

2011-09-03T18:13:00.000+01:00

這句我記錄下了。

加油！

憾。

2011-08-20T20:57:00.000+01:00

怎樣才能覺得無憾？

某說：愛過、堅持過、努力過、相信過，就算不如願也無憾。

某某說：生命裡出現過那麽一個想緊緊擁抱的人，而就算當下消失也無憾了。

而《末日》裡Y問了：如果世界還剩4分40秒就毀滅，你只能撥一通電話，會撥給誰？而如果你已經確定知道這個人是誰，爲什麽這通電話不現在就撥？

曾經立下三個“與我無關虛擬”標準（半夜頭腦想不出更好的代稱），覺得如果達到這三件小事就算無憾。達到2/3也興奮傻了。

大概無憾就是要表達“非常開心”再升華一層的感受吧？是嗎是嗎是嗎？？？

但畢竟人不能擁有全部，尤其受環境和現實限制的人。

所以就阿Q地相信了，遺憾也很美。

small blue

2011-06-23T23:03:00.000+01:00

又再好久沒有在這裡亂寫了。

我努力分開的一部分世界，逐漸還是要融合了，不過小事。反正到最後我還有這裡，今天想說的在這裡留個痕也不錯。

上次發現愛是聼得見的，這次再次證明一些獨愛偏愛，不是偶然。

那裡面這麽多首歌，偏偏只注意一首。還以爲我原本認爲很特殊的用詞很廣泛，但其實都是同一個人在説話。這樣的話，愛算緣分，還是其實心裡可能就有一種固定模式，碰上就知道？

啊，如果真的“碰上就知道”，多美妙。

p/s: 有幻想來一個smallblue主題K一下。如果這樣，會有人找到那個共同點嗎？嘻嘻。

This shall be my cause.

2011-05-04T18:18:00.000+01:00

記住今天的憤怒，無論我三十嵗了四十嵗了五十嵗了人家需不需要我了都好，一定要做到。

一定。等我。

RERERE & 妄想小小說

2011-05-02T00:15:00.000+01:00

起初會覺得樂這種劇種不會怎麽好看，（所以不明白），但有另一面的輕鬆；
起初會覺得麻這套劇會和類似主題的戲劇一模一樣，（所以不明白），但邏輯得條條有理而有深度。
結論是：相信x2。

***

妄想小小說：

“假設A和B自認公認天生一對，但在一起后卻分手了，這童話唯一能比較接近完美的結局，是C其實一直愛著A，而最後能打動他，一起。”

每個美麗故事的缺陷在於，我們在人生中都永遠不會知道自己是A，B，還是C。

[完]

二見鍾情

2011-04-09T02:32:00.005+01:00

天啊天啊，突然對梁漢文的舊歌感興趣起來，不知道的人把我和那些迷戀帥哥哈日哈韓比較時還以爲我有戀父情結呢...

哈哈，慘，好像把梁先生說老了...

這全從我在聼電台訪問雙手沒事做去看別人轉發別別人的微博開始。今天才發現原來只認識七友501八里公路留痕太太太太羅曼蒂克的我是多麽的井底之蛙，多麽的不佩自稱港樂迷。

也原來我應該是先認識雪姑七友版才聼過派台版的，奇怪奇怪。奇怪。

也從遇追究、万里陽光、宇宙無限這幾個童年好友。天啊我是當時太小根本不懂辨認梁漢文的歌聲嗎？還是太可愛單純地以爲所有電視劇主題曲都是主角自己負責唱的？哈哈.. 怎麽都不知道這些是他的歌？說到這裡又要慚愧地認一聲：我也是幾年前重看鑑證I才把留痕挖出來才知道也是他的歌。

哇哇哇，仿佛讓我發現了什麽金礦銀礦的，半夜興奮起來。

今晚暫且聼一張舊專輯和歌名熟悉的幾首，明天再續。

目前飛佛：這個midnight hunt的源頭 - 一小時沖印。

愛把舊歌當新歌聼，我這怪嗜好改不掉。

P/S: 如果你還沒猜到，二見鍾情也是他的一首歌。

See

2011-04-04T01:58:00.000+01:00

不要，我不要用別人為我設好的鏡頭看你。雖然我做不到不依据別人的眼光來打造自己，但如果只能選擇保留一份自我，我要用自己的眼睛看你。

//突然覺得自己可以很浪漫主義，哈。

3 people.

2011-03-31T04:02:00.000+01:00

Watched an interview where the interviewer asked the interviewee (is that a word?) who are the three people he is most grateful towards in life, so I thought, who are my three people?

And suddenly I realised the answer was quite simple and straightforward. It's also exactly that number of people, 3.

Who's yours?

20

2011-03-30T14:43:00.000+01:00

Since 18, didn't really think of my birthday as being anything special. I'm more nervous about April, May, and June than today.

It's all about farce and civilities. Well, almost all anyway. Since it takes up such a high percentage, why not just skip the whole thing?

Haha, and I thought of the 'foreign boats circling my island' theory this morning.

Anyway, it's just me not wanting to make a big deal out of something that REALLY REALLY isn't such a big deal. But I said Yes to the celebration tonight anyway, and I said OK to the cake. ---Not wanting to spout anything else in the risk of sounding ungrateful. ---

都說啦，我是那個決定了時間地點，但到最後其實根本不想出門的人。做什麽都是這樣。

Oh oh oh.. Suddenly thought of how I want to properly celebrate it with myself. It's the only thing that makes me truly happy anyway. :D

早睡早起

2011-03-23T17:50:00.000Z

早醒是
感覺過了大半天
但其實才是午餐時間

遲醒是
還沒來得及做什麽
就已經到了晚餐時間

*

最近都算早睡早起，有一種簡單生活的快樂。 :)

Hear

2011-03-20T09:38:00.000Z

隨意聼CD來消磨時間，半專心聼著，但聽到和音的幾句la-yi-ya-yi-a....就頓時被吸引。啊，原來真愛是聼得見的。

還有，我當然認得出HD-25，因爲也是我擁有的。

因小失大

2011-03-04T05:00:00.000Z

今天的領悟是：我常常因小失大。

自己的潛意識不知從何時開始變得這麽“小器”，不理智的想抓住一些小事，而造成失去更重要的。

改，該。

250

2011-03-02T01:37:00.000Z

“回來了就好，以後不要再任性跑掉了啊...”

哈，這真的很像憂心父母對離家出走的孩子說的話。

繭 jian

2011-02-24T07:37:00.000Z

省精神，這篇就用中文比較容易。

好久沒看一出真正能讓我反思得這麽深遠的電視劇了。

不是說再看其它的后沒有想一想些東西，只是這出真的比較“觸動”到我。我也不會怎麽說它有什麽不一樣，而且也不是我會太愛看的電視劇類型，也不是會開啓什麽思想按鈕的類型，卻.....總之有一種很“靠近”自己的感覺。

可能蛻變的意義在於，無論人經過什麽挫折傷害或痛苦經歷，堅持的話還是會這樣活下去，繼續活著，就這樣。

還有，在想，如果讓我愛上冰山，我會怎樣打動那個人？我完全不會融化別人的防備。最後想出來的解答是：如果我會愛上那個人，我一定會對他有一定的了解，也有愛他的確鑿原因，所以一定能打動他的。嗯，如果愛上的話。

接著就想，那麽多人在苦苦追求一個他愛的人，或是祈求有個愛自己的人，也因此受盡折磨。其實我是羡慕的，因爲我反而是想找一個能讓我愛的人，受那些什麽痛苦都好，至少轟轟烈烈愛過。想到這裡又有點擔心，因爲每次大大聲和老天說出這種要求，他都會照點單端菜，不是不怕的。老套那句沒錯的： Be careful what you wish for.

離題，回來。Em，就是説，連接這種“想要轟轟烈烈”的心情，我覺得我下一個男朋友（若有這個人存在的話）會遭殃。因爲我擔心自己會很用力地付出，太用力地付出。所以趁現在記得，要把這個想法寫下，提醒自己：吩咐手臂，放在原地 - 不要驚動愛情。

久不寫，就是一堆雜亂的思緒。太陽出來了，該睡了，希望中午前能醒來，約了人在圖書館談功課。安。

2011-02-14T23:23:00.000Z

It's been more than a week, and I'm starting to show that I'm losing my nerve and falling apart...

Please, soon.

Short (Boring) Story 1 /// 無聊說（一）

2011-01-25T16:43:00.000Z

Just as Sike pondered whether to go home or pop into the office to meet someone, he saw her walking across the street. Now he had another reason to head towards the office. So he walked happily behind her, keeping a distance between them the whole time. Suddenly, she stopped near a group of girls.

She was asking for a light.

[THE END]

Third? I forgot.

2011-01-23T21:51:00.000Z

LIES

GLEN HANSARD

_

I think it's time, we give it up
And figure out what's stopping us
From breathing easy, and talking straight
The way is clear if you're ready now
The volunteer is slowing down
And taking time to save himself

The little cracks they escalated
And before we knew it was too late
For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me
And I can't keep up with you
Maybe if you slowed down for me
I could see you're only telling
Lies, lies, lies
Breaking us down with your
Lies, lies, lies
When will you learn

The little cracks they escalated
And before you know it is too late
For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me
And I can't keep up with you
Maybe if you'd slowed down for me
I could see you're only telling
Lies, lies, lies
Breaking us down with your
Lies, lies, lies
When will you learn

So plant the thought and watch it grow
Wind it up and let it go

Swap

2011-01-13T03:31:00.000Z

I feel so easily satisfied with white rice and warm water. A poor kid in Cambodia would probably like being in my place a lot, and I'd be OK to switch places as long as there's white rice and warm water. :)

Twenty Ten

2010-12-31T15:33:00.000Z

So here it is huh? The end of 2010. Seems fast, but when I think about it, I need a few seconds to remember where I was and what I was doing at the beginning of this year. Feels like 2 worlds now.

I guess sometimes changes occur so subtly and gradually that it's only when you sit in front of your laptop typing a blog post that you start to think back about them.

Argh I don't want to do a whole long piece about how good or miserable my year was. I am just grateful for the helping hands and face smacks in times of difficulty.

And I will forever remember this year as the year I found something I always wanted and needed, a certainty. I'm glad I found it at the beginning of the year, making my whole year feel "lighter" than it actually is. Merci.

My 2010 ends on a simple note - purely sitting on a couch and listening to Music, and it's all that I need to feel happy.

Happy 2011. 要健康，快樂。 :)

fan/

2010-12-28T17:46:00.000Z

2010都快結束了，過往還像鬼魂纏著我。這個感覺不陌生。

很怕很怕那些噓寒問暖的人，也不懂怎麽面對這個過去。還有以後。

之前告訴自己等，不爭氣，現在又要重新熬了。

還是在和過往保持距離，也不懂維持多久后，每個人都會開始忘記我了。

或許那時，我可以如願擺脫以往，但也可能成爲沒有過去的人。

每次這樣給人說、被提醒，我也不好受！我也不想的，我真的不想依賴，可是我沒有出口了。但真的這樣嗎？現在想也太遲了。路選了就繼續走。

之前設定了一些規則，現在該設些其他的來補充。不常來了。雖然人不能活在自己的世界裡，但活在最相似的國度也不錯，雖然或許有一天會只剩下自己。

而且沒有人明白現在的我。我有想過告訴他們，可是我的所謂理由精神支柱正面影響，都只會被他們眼中自形的霧掩蓋而壓縮成成迷揮霍。所以冷靜思考兩分鐘，我發現只有繼續這樣做我想做的事，雖然每次為自己解釋辯護很傷神。

可能正能量暫時用光的感覺是這樣，很累。可是有時想想又好像在無病呻吟。

說點有趣的：12月31號我有個小小大計划，就是嘗試拯救我垂死的電話。失敗或成功，都可以當作從新來過。

After exams

2010-12-16T07:11:00.000Z

Dream dream dream, what did I just dream?

1st: Somehow was with Ellen, singing Over the Rainbow, harmonising for each other, in somewhere like a lecture, and we were sort of forced to sing... Don't ask me why it was Ellen not Eman, I dunno how my mind works.

2nd: I had a new smartphone, not an I4 surprisingly. It had no brand but was something like very techy and modern. The environment was like my villa (ya I had a villa) was invaded by intruders, and we were trying to evade them and fight back. Then ____ (I dunno what, memory lapse). Then suddenly it changed to Mum giving me a GF-1 for my birthday. While quite happy to receive a camera, in my mind I was ungrateful (as always) and thought: Mum, I told you I don't want a Micro Four-Thirds anymore I want a full DSLR, aiya you never listen. And and and, now the GF-2 is out, GF-1 outdated la.

Hahahahahaha, suuuuuper ungrateful!!!

Ahh, why so many dreams? Coz now I'll automatically wake up after 4hours, so I haven't slept past 4hours for 3 weeks already. Torture ar!!!! Keep waking up, then i'll guess the time (which is usually just the time I slept +4hours) and I'm spot-on correct.

Oh no I'm old. Old people sleep less, known fact.

OK, nothing interesting to write anymore. End. (sharp cut, haha)

Finally I have some time to rest, and feel happy.

2010-12-11T00:24:00.000Z

Finally here. At least one out of two. See the size compared to my chapstick? :D

Inside.

Then this. My Christmas present. So efficient.

***

My window sill is now my fridge. Freezzze...

很悶很悶很悶很悶很煩很悶很煩很悶很悶很無聊所以想說...

2010-12-04T22:35:00.000Z

我愛你！

太多空間了（Facebook, Plurk, Weibo, Twitter, Blog, Blog）反而不知道要在哪裡亂寫一通。

就回來完全屬於自己的這裡，也不會干擾別人。

Believe

2010-11-22T03:04:00.000Z

整晚都在疑惑興奮擔心開心安慰中渡過

on是還sey是

saw是還si是

.
.
.

其實

相信就是最真實的

(今晚睡的話明天一定遲到，天啊，怎麽在星期日晚上刺激我？就不能選別天嗎？）

好。

2010-11-22T00:13:00.000Z

以爲情況一直不好，可是又突然發生驚天動地的大件事。

好像是好事。

期望到達的那天，是將近了嗎？

洞

2010-11-17T19:34:00.007Z

（應該算是）Number 2 （嗎？）:

有某一些洞，是能用勇氣和努力去填補的。

但原來又有另外一些，

面對著他們，就只有莫大的無力感。

這就是人生裡面我們必需經歷的修煉。

就這樣。也只能這樣。

愛拖又冷血

2010-11-12T20:17:00.000Z

十月離開已經有一段距離
幾乎連影子也看不見了
日曆和溫度
都告訴我同樣的事情

可是今晚
我決定從八月尾走起

天啊
八月尾
當時的我在做什麽？
真要花一兩分鐘想想

那時還沒來到這裡
那時
仿佛是另一個年代另一個世界

原來我做人這麽愛拖

就讓我今晚任性地完成當時到現在一拖再拖的事情
然後用那幾滴冷水
畫一條綫
再嘗試一起重新出發吧

嗯。

好走

2010-11-10T17:48:00.000Z

當自己信仰的缺一塊

自己也缺了一塊吧？

諷刺的是

我還需要你倒過來安慰

並告訴我世界還有值得相信的美好

今天的世界
次序掉亂了
顔色調轉了

不一樣了
不一樣了

莫文蔚 - 愛

2010-11-08T22:55:00.000Z

OK, odd things happen to me occasionally, but what just happened is by far one of the freakiest!!!

I was on YouTube listening to a cover of Karen Mok's song, “Love”.

Then I thought it has been a long time since I heard the original version. So I wanted to search for it on YouTube.

But suddenly it occurred to me that I probably have it in my folder of old songs from my old PC, so I opened the folder, and looked through the properly named files with the name of the song and singer, but no luck. Then there was a whole bunch of unnamed songs like "Track 306" "track 134" etc, so I selected the whole list of that and played them.

When the melody of the first song starts, I keep thinking it sounds familiar (and it should coz those were old songs I used to listen to). As the melody played on it struck me that, oh my gosh, is that the song I'm looking for? Then when the singing started, I was totally freaked out. Hahaha...

Cool thing to happen.

敗，敗。

2010-11-07T22:46:00.000Z

好像很久沒有嘗試勝利的滋味了。

開心，是常有的。

但開心，和勝利的感覺，不一樣。

是失敗太久了，習慣了，萎縮到了角落永遠見不到光曙了嗎？

*

我想我終于明白我想擁有一些物品的原因了。

大概是覺得自己有了這些東西后，可以自轉過活，不需要和別人交會了。

好像很不邏輯，可是這是我想到的，感覺是這樣。

應該儘快狠狠砍一刀嗎？然後會快樂嗎？

我多想當條和世界平行的綫啊。

Moot moot

2010-11-06T01:05:00.000Z

After prepping for a week (actually less) and writing a hundred drafts for my submission, it's finally over!

I can't describe but, although the whole process of it was frustrating, it felt good when I was in the room.

Oh ya, thanks Lindsay.

Didn't expect it to be something I'd enjoy (yes, enjoy) doing, might do it long term.

Let's see how it goes.

P/S: Parcel no where to be found. I think that's why I'm a bit depressed inside these days.

熬·散·失望

2010-10-26T16:36:00.000+01:00

前晚睡四小時

昨晚睡兩小時

熬夜熬散了

如果我是一鍋湯（本來要打成一湯鍋）=.="'

一定很好喝

本來以爲辛苦后有禮物
怎麽知道是世上最荒謬的事
果然
噓

今天還沒完
但現在該歇一歇
待會再自找麻煩的忙。。。。。。。。

抽離

2010-10-24T22:24:00.000+01:00

邊讀contract邊聼indie
有種莫名浪漫
哈哈

我這網絡癮君子
連這也忍不住要blog
救命

Yoyo

2010-10-22T22:37:00.002+01:00

有時候

寧靜很可怕

因爲它代表我生活的空洞

但最近

好像適應了寧靜

甚至選擇寧靜

這

也讓自己有點擔心

所謂的fickle-minded

就是我沒錯

有些人

歌聲能有一種凝聚力

讓你不自主要全神貫注聆聽

聼聼TA想說的故事

這我猜

也要歸功於TA本身對生活的獨特觸感、高敏銳度、細膩

所以

連文字也都能吸引我

而且

帶來一種愉快的寧靜

今年七/八月

從世界末日開始認識她

Sudden Weird Dream

2010-10-21T21:42:00.000+01:00

Napped for 2 hours, but suddenly had this weird dream!

It's not weird in the sense that it actually involves a person I know, but it's weird coz this person would actually appear in my dreams! Gosh, what's wrong with my subconscious? Must go check check..

What happened was, M b.u.w X, and somehow I was ___ about it, then B started acting crazy and ___.

Weird right?!?!? OMGOMBOMAOMeverything...

Gotta restructure my lifestyle. Go go go!

Parcels etc.

2010-10-15T23:12:00.001+01:00

I think my 1st parcel got lost in post. Regardless of how much tears I shed or how loud I shout, it won't help the situation. Haih.. haihhhh... haihhhhhhh....... My RM160, haihhh....

So I ordered from another website. Hope this time it doesn't do a hocus pocus on me and disappear into thin air again. *hope* (Also because this time it costs wayyyy friggin more, shittt..)

Coincidentally since I'm on this topic, I bought the 'Wicked' soundtrack today, something which I should have owned years ago if not for......(guess what)......the parcel getting lost when che sent it to me!!!

Globalisation, guess you don't work very smoothly yet huh?

*

I think something good happened today. When I was walking aimlessly around Buchanan and freezing and unaware of the world that matters, I think something good happened.

*

I realise that I can handle new technology quite well. I managed to figure out how to use a Mac without a manual or any instructions of any kind, figured out how to type Chinese on it and figured out how to find the background image urls from the source code thingy (i.e. through the css url, and not directly from the source, yeah yeah...!). Ok it doesn't ound very impressive after it's typed out but to me I'm still impressed. Haha. SS.

*

How come a private homely flat is more cold than a boringly set out student accommodation?

This is not good news to my persistent cough, at all.

*

Joy for reading week (Law timetable rawks!!!). Time to sort myself out proper. Must.

鎖了

2010-10-11T15:42:00.000+01:00

這，不是今天的天空。

這，是昨天茂盛的葉子。

一些事情，鎖在了木箱裡。

生日快樂

2010-10-09T17:21:00.000+01:00

謝謝。

病

2010-10-06T22:31:00.000+01:00

病了，
“細菌”仿佛都會帶它們的好朋友“愁緒”來開派對。

然後，
“愁緒”當然約了“胡思”作伙。

。。。。。。還好吧？

明天開始，要攝下我見到的。

因爲後天，再也不是明天。

不打算這麽早睡，
不打算讀書，
但想說句：

晚安。

Wait

2010-10-05T18:37:00.000+01:00

Today.

Waiting patiently (not really very patient) for my puzzle.

...puzzle...

Packed with variety???

2010-10-02T04:43:00.001+01:00

Contract tutorial. (Ok weird day coz people keep wanting to befriend me.)

Then online. I post Emirates photos. (Again weird day, people keep befriending me) Plus, highest record of TURNS.

Fight club. You don't know how much courage I had to muster. And I still look like a foooool. Left means left, right means right suetying!!!

Tesco. Decided to go veg this month. Hopefully I finish my meat/eggs stock in the fridge by this weekend. Hopefully I don't faint (coz of lack of protein) this month. If all goes well, December again. But subject to exception of eating out/eating with people.

E13. Emm, ok. Oh ya Joseph.

Fat Sam's. Creepo. And Steve says....what? Haha.. Crazy Steve. Yea I think fight club served part of it's purpose here, and also TC2007 Opening Ceremony fun time. TC provides all skills, juniors are missing out!

Strangely, 100% fine and still not very tired.

4.38am

Of Fire, Stupid Bank, and Package

2010-10-01T13:29:00.003+01:00

Firemen at 12.30am! Just the people I want to meet when I have a 9am tutorial the next day. Yay... =.="'

***

Then today was a little crap, coz my bank stuff isn't sorted out yet. It's the 5th time I've been to the stupid bank, and I'm gonna go for the 6th and 7th still. Rubbishhhh...

***

But... Look look look!!! Happy stuff, haha!!!

So now I just have to wait patiently for 7-10 days. Goodie~~~

繼續期待...

周國賢 - 有時

2010-09-29T22:51:00.002+01:00

突然突然發現，這首歌很很很好聽。嗯，買香港版和When She Sings的時候又有多一張Endy要買了。Home和十年一刻，考慮當中，不過機會渺茫。

有時

主唱：周國賢
作曲：周國賢
填詞：小克
編曲：周國賢
監製：周國賢．Goro@heearmusic

我快樂有時　我叫悶有時
也算上天的恩賜
回頭是憤慨　看不到未來
於年月裡比賽

時光機永未及發明　哪裡覓證明
轉季讓半山結冰
這嘀嗒　又嘀嗒
時鐘似簷蓬滴雨聲

這秒針　轉個彎
繁華極短暫
一切善或惡　聚或散
也定了早晚
永有著時間驅使
歷史的恩怨時代迫使

仰首太空　再看清一片藍圖星宿
怎麼那北斗永亮透
只可半生奔馳　好比試管嬰兒　
蟲洞裡解不破的暗示

戰鬥亦有時　跳舞亦有時
分不到魔鬼天使　
情慾或理智　這生有限時
怎釐定那主次

投身於那六道旅程　已再沒姓名
轉世讓記憶結冰
永生間　彈指間
時光裡盲目地遠征

這秒針　轉個彎
繁華極短暫
一切善或惡　聚或散
也定了早晚
永有著時間驅使
歷史的恩怨時代迫使

仰首太空　再看清一片藍圖星宿
怎麼那北斗永亮透
只可半生奔馳　好比試管嬰兒

空間裡的真相不會知

沒有愛恩斯坦以及霍金的聰慧
相對問題遇到相對問題
四度宇宙摺疊冷暖
愛恨活埋秒與秒之間

這秒針　轉個彎
繁華極短暫
新愛或舊愛　沒盛載　
最後也失散
你叫喚時間終止　　
永遠沒法預知哪日得你重視　

仰首太空　再看清一片藍圖星宿
怎麼那北斗永亮透
織女望向牽牛　一知半解眉頭
從維度裡繼續破解光速的變奏　
空間的結構
一瞬或不朽

有時我在記憶空間找到你
分秒在一起
不會問生死
最終會不分我或你

925

2010-09-24T19:28:00.000+01:00

RAAAA!!!!

noname

2010-09-19T13:55:00.000+01:00

and

prevent me from turning crazy.

P/S: Clock gadget recommended if you use Vista and want a nice and simple clock. :)

开心不？

2010-09-15T20:12:00.001+01:00

这是今天值得开心的事。

我不是那种 “嘿，看过来！” 或 “请多多支持” 的人，这算天生害羞还是孤僻还是自命清高？

不过可以肯定的是，回响很大，YT上榜，连我这灰尘也叨光了。

这个故事教训我们，“打铁”要趁热（哈哈，no pun intended!），机会是懂得适时乘上热流，虽说我并没有预料这个结果。

可是，今天也真纠结。（糟，耳濡目染了）

听说.....SH......说... 然后应该很感动。

但是又看到......看不到......

不过，看来.......也还好....

而且，还..... ?...!

可能.......真的就这样了。又回到2000年代。

唉，真的不得不说一句：纠结！！！

鋼鐵是怎樣煉成的

2010-09-13T21:58:00.001+01:00

如何強硬到孤單都嚇退要滴過幾次淚才夠建築永生的身軀？

是的。我是鋼鐵，但渴望變瓷器。

我也想脆弱，也想貪生怕死。

這是你的寫照。這是我的寫照。

冰心

2010-09-12T20:36:00.005+01:00

我想我真的是冷血的。

不开冷气，我身体热得像发烧一样。开冷气，就冷得顶不顺。

生物课有教啊，冷血动物的体温都随周围环境改变的不是吗？

可能外星人都是这样的吧。不确定，因为火星太远，联络不上，而我也还没在这地球上遇到同类。

***

Translation by Google Translate (initially intended for Ms. Nugget, but now I think it adds as a good piece of humour, hahaha):

I think I really cold-blooded.
Not air-conditioned my body as hot as a fever. Air conditioners, on the cold top ring true.
Biology class education for, ah, cold-blooded animals have body temperature changes with the surrounding environment is not it?
Aliens are like this it may be. Uncertain, because Mars is too far can not be contacted, and I have not encountered the same on this earth.

猜猜什么戏

2010-09-12T00:26:00.000+01:00

不只听到只有马来西亚华人会讲的华语掺方言掺英文掺马来文（俗称rojak语），也看到本土80-90年代的文化、旧咖啡室风貌、kampung木屋等等。虽然这些不是完全绝迹而让人有“集体回忆”的感觉，但可能奇妙的地方在于不曾在荧幕上感受过自己国家不经修饰的文化。他们说的语言，不是什么新加坡台湾中国标准中文，是加了很多har meh lah loh hor的rojak！电影里听到的回教徒破晓时的祷告声、乌鸦的呀呀叫声，我现在正听得到。

不是什么复杂得让人摸不着头脑的剧情、没有什么轰轰烈烈的爱情故事，只是清纯年代描绘的淡淡初恋。直接，真实。

技术性地研究的话，在我这种没经过专业电影训练的`人眼中，镜头都抓得很美，背景音乐也都适时适景。

这证明，马来西亚不是没有电影人才，只是或许没有际遇而已。

P/S：如果电影能加入张智成、阿镔、阿铭的话，会有趣和完美些。

买定DVD了（是，我从PPS看的），而且坚持要正正版（不是Speedy的所谓正版事实复制版）！

為俄了/油/為俄特？

2010-09-10T19:42:00.001+01:00

如果有一段真愛
需要你等十年
期間飽受傷感的煎熬與寂寞的折磨

但只要你肯堅持等上這大約3650天的期限
就有好結果

你會等嗎？

如果有一段真愛
需要你等十年
期間飽受傷感與寂寞的折磨

但即使你肯堅持等上大約3650天
也未必有理想結局

你
還會等嗎？

*

我是個常愛問沒答案的問題然後意識這狀況繼而提醒自己不要問這些沒答案的問題的怪人。

可惜8月28那天我看不見火星，不然可以蹦蹦跳、揮揮手或點狼煙什麽的來引注意，要它們帶我回家。錯過了。聽説火星下次離地球這麽近，會是上百上千年以後的事。

現在惟有繼續盡力混入人類堆裡，繼續呼吸。

可能可能

2010-09-10T19:22:00.000+01:00

可能悲歌是抒發；

可能表情是自然流露；

可能忙碌是爲了不讓自己想太多...

可能擱著，

可能還堅持...

可能...

...我太自以爲是了。

longg bunnn, longg lauuu-hh

2010-09-05T18:11:00.002+01:00

Je suis très heureux de vous rencontrer

2010-08-29T15:27:00.002+01:00

注定的，不得不信。

Thanks Maggie! :D

this weird connection

2010-08-27T23:14:00.000+01:00

it's suddenly fully functional without d/c-ing in the middle of the night....

so i sleep at 6am, again.

but i must wake up soon. rubbbbbbbish day.

good morning.

很好就好

2010-08-27T20:38:00.000+01:00

难得今天看到“好”字。

25b的功力不小。

好，等等等。

*

Yesterday was the only night that I didn't sleep at 6am this 7th lunar month (supposed 'ghost' month). I slept at 12am, half because I was really tired and half because streamyx wasn't functioning.

Called the streamyx centre today, didn't really help. They just made a report and I'm supposed to wait for a technician to call IF they decide to fix it at my premise. What the.. Such a passive way of solving a problem. Urghh..

Anyway... Since I was lazy to face to frequent disconnections, I decided to switch off my laptop and....guess what....bake!

Seeing as I didn't have sunflower oil and an electric whisk and a scale, I think I did OK. I already cut down on the sugar, but the frosting still tastes too sweet. All in all, this is not up to the 'can get married' (可以嫁人） standard yet. ;P

Ok, gotta quickly post this while connection still functioning.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-27T08:00:00.000+01:00

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why????!!!????!!!!!!????!!!!!

WHYYYYYYYY??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I shout loud enough, can you hear me?

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they are blind, they are blind too.

please, don't. please

The Madhouse We Live In

2010-08-23T17:10:00.000+01:00

Due to Ms Nugget complaining, I've decided to write this in Ingelish. (1 reader means 20% of my readers because only 5 people follow my blog, hahahaha!)

Just back from the Ghost Festival Dinner thingy at my Taman. I really really don't like the way these functions are held. If you just calculate the waste that one single function produces, and imagine how many of such functions are held, in a city, in a state, or throughout Malaysia, you will find how ridiculously unnecessary these dinners are.

Take my table for example, there are around 9 to 10 dishes and almost every dish still has half or more than half left when being kept back by the waitresses. So if it is assumed that every table wastes around RM100, and there are 30 tables in total, then that's RM3000 wasted!

Now RM3000 may sound like nothing but if you've paid attention to charity events or have recently read yingguat's blog, you'll know that RM50 is enough to support a kid per month. So that means RM3000 can support 60 kids per month or 1 kid for 5 years!! (not calculating inflation of course). Now, again, imagine how many of such functions are held throughout Malaysia just for tonight's festival, then imagine.............

To be clear, I'm not discouraging people from keeping to traditions. Set up an altar, pray, yea, OK, tradition, culture, acceptable. But the dinner thing, come on lah is it necessary? Invite some big shots over, give a few speeches that most people don't pay attention to, eat eat eat, have lucky draw (even if these are sponsored, it's still wasting resources) then everyone goes home.

.................

Haih...

Then I come back and hear news about the Philippines bus hostage incident. 7 lives gone, 7 families affected...

Haihhhhh..........

See??? If money were put into better use, to improve education, improve the economy and provide people with jobs, or even train a more competent police force, then these things might, might, MIGHT just be avoided.

Tell me, what kind of madhouse are we're living in???

傻

2010-08-22T19:53:00.000+01:00

咦？今天心情有變好一點點點點哦。
應該歸功25b和今天的工作吧。
好，總算有進展。

感應

2010-08-21T21:36:00.000+01:00

說出來一定沒有人相信，可是我真的感應到。

從五月，到現在。

這，會維持多久？一個月？三年？七年？十年？？？

表面和内心衝突，會不會精神分裂？

心酸無助再加距離，調出來原來是這滋味。

三點水

2010-08-20T19:07:00.000+01:00

今天一直踫到這句話：汗流出來，水分用光了，就不想流淚了。

喲，這個夏天的熱，好像掀起一陣憂鬱瘟疫，平時開朗的那幾只，都中招了。

最可怕的應該是，表面還裝得很ok堅強，可是淚都往肚子裡吞。
這種淚，又苦又燙，吞進胃裡，很容易灼傷自己。

快好起來吧。

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

2010-08-11T22:31:00.000+01:00

200th post! Shows that I do have quite a lot of crap to talk about in life... Here's one more:

For those who insisted I would _______ (fill in the blank), and since I don't think it will turn out that way, I have warned you that saying this will make you (and mostly me too) paiseh when we meet again.

That is, IF we meet again. ;P
.
..
...
Okok, joking, I'll miss all of you too much if we don't meet again.

BUT,

don't say I didn't warn you.

三盒嘢的總結

2010-08-11T22:20:00.000+01:00

前日學咗《詩與胡説》，要練熟佢！為咗紀念，仲買咗新pick同capo。

早上去領寶貝們，困難重重多少也預料了，但呢個“過程”總算完結。

今日好奇怪，食完嘢冇幾耐就肚餓 - 結果今日食咗四餐加好多豆沙餅，肥死。（而家都餓餓地...）

半夜 - 唔知係唔係潛意識避免諗太多，或是本來就打算做所以做 - 開始洗衫執房。之後整理寶貝，擺上架，p就過咗幾個鈡。@_@

見到陳列好嘅寶貝們，我可以肯定，無論聼日（即係2010年8月12號）發生乜事，至少，現在的我是高興的。

Behind That Shiny Resume: My Afterthoughts

2010-08-05T20:27:00.000+01:00

I bought this book a while back, but only read it tonight. What was meant to be a light read turned out to be heavier than all seven Harry Potter books added together, mentally that is.

I don’t do much reading nowadays, the online world is too engrossing (bad me). This is one of the few books I insist on finishing in one go.

Where should I start? How should I start? I always have these problems when I put thoughts into writing. It’s weird because if I was in a discussion with someone (which is rare), my thoughts, ideas and opinions flow out more easily, which is in a way weird too, because writing should be easier to organise.

Jasmine Yow, I remember her. Heck, who in my primary or secondary doesn’t? If you’ve even attended a single morning assembly, you would know her as the girl who keeps getting mentioned and praised and receiving prizes for her achievements. However, I can’t say I know her personally. Yeah I’ve read her blog, but stopped following at one point. Yeah I’ve chatted with her on MSN, mostly about my ASEAN scholarship decision. So I know who she is, but I can’t say she’s my friend nor am I hers.

Her deepest impression on me that I can recall is when she wrote once that people write differently when they know it’s being read. I’ve been conscious of how I write in my blog ever since. I insist on writing because I feel so, not because I want others to think I feel so.

Call me arrogant, delusional or whatever you like, but on some levels I always thought we share many similarities. On paper she’s way way way way way better than me, undoubtedly. She’s more musically talented (ahem, I don’t really wish to delve on this), joins more societies, clubs, activities and competitions…etc… Then off paper, she reads more, is cleverer, writes better, is more popular, religious… All in all, call it ‘more perfect and refined’.

But in general terms, I find that I do have some things in common with her: high-achiever bearing high expectations but lonely and angry inside, been there, done that, stressed out, came back. OK so maybe that’s where the similarities end, fans of hers please stop pelting me with pebbles and rotten eggs.

What I want to say is: I think I can relate more to her experiences shared in the book than any average student, parent or teacher. It might be self-centered for me to think so but at least that’s what I genuinely feel.

I guess I’m not really writing a review of her book or anything close, just parts of my life that relate to it. My comparisons are not intentional, and it even occurred to me at one point that I might be judged for comparing myself to her, seeing as her achievements are so much higher, her case of depression more severe. But hey, nobody reads my blog anyway. Haha.

As I started reading her book I was actually scared, scared of finding bits and pieces of myself in between those pages.

Yes, I do occasionally look at my past (which although is not as glorious as hers but nonetheless something to be proud of) and think what happened to me along the way, what led me to where I am today, seemingly less glamorous in the eyes of the world.

I think nobody can really understand what she felt then, because I can never imagine anyone understanding me and my choices. I realised that nobody can truly understand me since a long, long time ago, so I’m not as angry about this as before anymore. I read in a book once that nobody truly cares about anyone but themselves. So I get very conscious about how much ‘me’ I put into conversations, and how much others do too. I learn to listen more about ‘them’, and bore people less about ‘me’, coz let’s face it, who wants to know about ‘me’?

It can be daunting when we see someone capable of achieving so much, but somehow I feel a sense of relief knowing that she puts me back a few notches on the scale of perfectness. I treasure my flaws because they make me more ordinary, and maybe being closer to ordinary makes me feel less lonely. I typed an article using my phone a while back about my dream life, a life of being an average but happy nobody.

Although her situation seems more severe than mine, I still think she’s a luckier person. She has the love and support of her friends, family and religion. Firstly, I’m not a religious person. I have friends and close friends too, but no one really knows my problems and the ‘dark side’ of me. Maybe I’m partly responsible for that because I never really make the effort to connect to anyone or open up to anyone. Finally, I have a family too, but…err…umm… Yep, it’s different, it’s different. Let’s leave it at that.

Reading this book now seems timely. Despite not being able to do anything to change my results (which is out on 12^th), I feel more prepared for the worst and see my choices clearer if things don’t turn out well.

So I guess I owe much thanks to the author. Thank you for sharing, it takes courage most of us could only wish we had.

And thank you 006 for making my day brighter.

Longest Dream I Remeber

2010-08-05T10:01:00.001+01:00

This may not be the longest dream I ever had, seeing as we never really remember our dreams, but it's certainly the longest dream I can recall. The story contains a lot of 'somehow's and 'something's because dreams don't make sense, especially my dreams. There's also a lot of 'and's and 'then's, because some scenes really do not have any continuation or link and also, if you know me since primary or secondary school you would know that writing stories isn't my forte.

So here goes......

I was flying randomly from the front of the house to the back of the house then to the front again. I can't remember why. It was something like checking to see if the coast was clear for me to enter the house.

/blur scene/

Then, the next thing I remember is I need to go to 3 more piano lessons because I went to one lesson previously because of my guitar lesson or something and these lessons are paid monthly or every 4 times. So I was rushing for time to go to the lesson, which was supposed to be about 1pm or so then my parents as usual delay the time by sitting down at some kopitiam and eating there. Then I was so anxious and kept checking my watch then I realised it's already 3pm and then my mum asked me to tell the teacher I wanted to change the class to later but I refused so in the end I just didn't go.

Then dad walked into the back part of the kopitiam (I duno for what) and I was left standing in front of the shop. I was talking to my mum while holding the piano attendance card and said "Cham liao lah, I miss one lesson.. how ar..?" then a random lady came towards us and said it's OK as long as I go for the remaining lessons by the month or something. Then I looked at her, confused. I told her I'm talking about my piano lessons and then she said she thought I was talking about the tuition centre in the kopitiam. Then I was like "huh got tuition centre in kopitiam one meh???" then after that dad came out and we were on the car again.

/blur scene/

Then I think I was packing some luggage at home with bro. Somehow he had more luggage than me.

We were in the airplane but somehow we had individual rooms in the airplane. Then bro started asking me if I saw the facial cleanser that someone gave him as a gift, The person gave me a similar one too, so that's why he knew that I knew what it looked like. I said I didn't see it and bro looked so sad that he misplaced the facial cleanser gift.

Then we arrived at a station/airport sort of place. It was Paris. We were on the rail heading somewhere, then someone suggested that I go down at the 24th stop instead of the 2nd stop to go sightseeing. (Note: the 24th stop is before the 2nd stop). So I went down the train ON MY OWN, then I remember standing in front of the elevator. Somehow I looked like 阿藤, and then a shorter person who also looked like 阿藤 was waiting for the lift together with me. After entering and exiting the lift, I was facing a long gallery of branded boutiques (some names of the brands don't exist and I think my mind made them up). So since I was in Paris, I just decided to walk down the gallery and see the display. (It was impossible for me to afford anything right?) Then I entered a jewellery shop and wanted to find a simple ring I had seen before somewhere but in the end decided that I couldn't afford silver anyway so told myself I'd get something pewter instead.

So I left the shop and that was the last shop in the gallery and after the gallery was a long dark hallway. I could barely make out a crowd in the wide hallway but it was too dark so instinctively I took out my handphone and switch on the screen light. But after while I found it too glaring so I used a tupperware to shield my eyes. Then I realised I looked stupid so I just switched off my handphone and followed the crowd in the dim light. Then I exited the station and somehow met with a group of people (Not people I know in real life but my friends in the dream) and we were deciding where to eat. So we walked across the street to a Chinese restaurant but some person (20-something years old girl) told us the food there wasn't tasty so....

/blur scene/

The whole group of us were in a car and after that we arrived at a sort of apartment place. We drived up a few floors (ya, the apartment had a concrete ramp for us to drive up until the desired floor, soemthing like the shopping mall parkings but it was more open air and surrounding the apartment). Each floor seemed to only have one unit. So we reached a unit and walked in. It was in a very battered state, old and the walls were tore down. But the rooms were spacious and we kept praising that this place would be a good buy and it could be renovated into something very nice. Then as we left, driving down the ramp, we passed the auditorium of the house (don't ask me why the house has an auditorium).

And then we arrived at the guardhouse and the guard let us out, into a junction, and we were supposed to turn right. But there was some traffic on both sides of the road so we had to wait. [If this was Malaysia, turning right would be more difficult coz it's the opposite side of the road, but if you were following my story I'm supposed to be in Paris so turning right should be easier coz we don't have to cross to the opposite side, but somehow in this dream it was the Malaysian-style road we were facing, so we had to wait for less traffic.] Suddenly we heard the sound of police sirens and a few police motorbikes drove past us into the apartment. I tried to keep calm coz I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Oh ya forgot to mention, somehow the car was my X-trail but a bit bigger and somehow the driver was my uncle and I was sitting in the middle passenger seat and my bro was on my right. He was wearing his seatbelt so he looked like he didn't worry about the police passing. "Show off as usual", I thought to myself.

Then after the policemen passed we managed to turn right and drive on. Then suddenly, a kid climbed through the open window of our car! I was so surprised that the kid managed to climb into a moving car so I asked how she did it. She said in a PRC-chinese slang, "I climbed just like that". We decided that we must return the kid to her parents so we arranged to meet with the policemen just now. It turns out that my uncle knew their top detective and contacted him. Then we stopped the car and met with the police and returned the kid.

/blur scene/

Then somehow, we're in this room and sitting in a circle and two people in our group were quarreling whether to worship Jesus or Saint Mary. Then someone mentioned Madonna so now I was confused if they wanted to worship Saint Mary or Madonna. [Huhhhh?????!!??!???]

Then I woke up.

-THE END-

Ya I know, my brain contains nothing but rubbish.

Which is it?

2010-08-03T17:45:00.000+01:00

Today I feel oddly relaxed.

Maybe it's because I finally get mt back,
maybe it's because my next lesson won't be until next week,
maybe it's because I know I can finally learn a song I really like,
maybe it's because I'm alone at home,
maybe it's because I ate a lot of rubbish for dinner just now,
maybe it's because I know I'll get something (or 'a lot of things' to be exact) I've wanted for a long time this weekend...

Maybe it's all of the above.

Maybe I'm just bored.

Just the two of us... until we meet again

2010-07-21T11:02:00.000+01:00

吉他 + 敲击乐 + 两把好声音 --- 好音乐，这样就够了。
把编曲都 at17-化，清新和凄清混搭出的一种美。
甚至，当所有bgm都停止了，只剩vocals，简直美的让人流泪。

一定要买！约定了，改不了。

*

可惜九月不能去香港，有一二，又有903拉阔。
有些事情，冥冥中注定了不是这样发生。
坚信这不是无缘，只是把缘分待以后续。

20/07 today was weird, in a not so good way.

2010-07-20T20:43:00.001+01:00

Today is one of those rare weird days, where quite a lot happens when I don't expect it.

A relative passed away this morning.

Then people keep telling me my MSN was hacked and I had to change my password. (BTW if this hacking thing still persists please inform me so I can try other ways of stopping it)

And also..bla..

and..bla..

..which are both not important.

At night I went to the funeral wake. It reminded me of the Singaporean drama I just finished watching last week - New Beginnings (紅白囍事）. It made me ponder deeply about what this 'eternal goodbye' actually means. Does it matter what we do when we live? Does it matter what people do when we die? Heavy questions without true answers.

From now on every time I say 'take care' or 'goodbye' to someone, I'll mean it more deeply.

Ok, now it's 21st, a gooday.

Edit:
Extra add-on! A song that I keep looping lately after Wyman intro-ed it. Shine's songs (note: Shine, not Shinee) are so comfortable. Too bad 'comfortable' doesn't sell in today's market, so now they've disbanded and have gone solo on other career paths. I saw one of their albums in a CD shop today, but I didn't bring much money on me so I skipped. Oh well, there's always YouTube. ;P

俗

It's about how everyone tries to break out from the normal crowd but ends up being 'more normal' coz everyone's doing it.

Another version of the MV which is funnier.

Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

2010-07-07T08:22:00.001+01:00

Maybe we all live in Wonderland.

We have foes and allies around, and we can turn foes to allies if we chose.

Faced with a destined burden, we may fear initially. Only some people believe that we are the 'right' Alice, even we ourselves don't believe it, and that certainly doesn't make us convincing does it?

We may have lost our muchness along the way, but since we had it, we should still be able to have it, again.

If out of six impossible things five are possible, then the last, most impossible one can be possible too. The only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it's possible.

People may think we're mad, entirely bonkers, but the secret is out: all the best people are!

So, find your Vorpal sword and go kick some Jabberwocky ass!

P/S: Don't forget to futterwacken when you celebrate the victory. ;P

ToNick - T.O.N.I.C.K

2010-07-05T19:37:00.000+01:00

作曲：HangJai@ToNick
作詞：HangJai@ToNick,/ 阿細,/林日曦
編曲：ToNick
監製：趙增熹、ToNick

舊時讀書讀死搏會考玀隻A
到會考取消張cert 攝係茶几

第時買車買樓買完就供到嘔
用條命供一個爛竇

世界要我做既野實在太多
唔跟就錯
錯錯錯我做我自己好過

傻得夠快活有貨熱血錯又怕咩woh
我信個世界無野難到我
就算傻好過怨地怨天呢係屋企齋HEA白過
最尾怕咩無結果起碼我做過

戲棚夾band好驚無人但聽到聲
我地係鬼節唱歌比死人聽

百靚尺租個房埲牆漏水既房
夾夾下Band火燭去備案

世界要我做既野實在太多
唔跟就錯
錯錯錯我做我自己好過

傻得夠快活有貨熱血錯又怕咩woh
我信個世界無野難到我
就算傻好過怨地怨天呢係屋企齋HEA白過
最尾怕咩無結果起碼我做過

第日個孫問我係邊一個
我唔會O嘴無野講
阿爺我蠢過叻過戇居過
同三個廢柴夾過
ToNick

傻得夠快活有貨熱血錯又怕咩woh
我信個世界無野難到我
就算傻好過怨地怨天呢係屋企齋HEA白過
到最尾怕咩無結果
我有乜錯 0岩既故事太多收聲我想將錯就錯
到最尾再睇下最初起碼我做過

Today, July 2nd

2010-07-02T18:42:00.000+01:00

Nothing notable happened today, but just felt like blogging.

This morning I woke up feeling suicidal. Lucky I convinced myself that I should have a higher EQ than to mind what people say.

After that I went to breakfast and tried to induce epilepsy on myself but failed, miserably. Still, I like the feeling of the light effect.

Then I went to the hospital. Connection was crap. Wifi connects but doesn't work, poor reception so no 3G. Then some feller took my newspaper thinking it's the hospital newspaper. And another feller saw it and did the same. Stupid people, it's MY paper!!!

Then I went home. The radio in the car has gone nuts, but they don't pay attention enough to notice it, just like no one cares what I want. I put on my headphones and listened to Juno's Nothing Lasts Forever, and repeated the first 4 songs again.

Dinner time, I gave some cats fish bone leftovers.

End of one day.

应该开心的碎语一段

2010-06-25T18:16:00.000+01:00

啊，怎么世界有你这么认真而又疯狂的人？叫我怎么不爱你？

接下来几个月，应该会是我最闲空而又漫无目的的一段时期。
接下来几个月，应该会是你今年最最最忙的一段时期。

用我的闲空在我的空闲里为你加油。

^以上这句话，教过我中文的老师们看了应该都会皱眉。不过我只想这么写。哈哈。

噢，对对，我要好好休息的原因是要开始一个Project，可是暂时事与愿违。暂时。
Trip回来再实行。话说，这trip也办得太适时了。

好，就酱。

关于怪假期的碎语一段

2010-06-25T18:02:00.000+01:00

短短两星期里体会到，一个人被关在家里是最自由自在的时候，矛盾吗？
还没好好停下来休息超过24小时呢，怪假期。

咦？疯子又来烦我了。幸好备有耳机，尚算能避过一些伤人的疯言疯语。好，继续type。

之后又要出走了，好像很悠闲，其实感觉忙。

哎呀，type了疯人进这个post，就不想type别的好事了，免得污染。看啦，本来要写的一句又不能写了。ish。

是，我的想法逻辑总是异与常人。要他人理解已是奢望，完全明白更是免谈。

为什么我似乎总是用中文表达忧郁呢？是比较熟悉而容易发挥的原因吗？还是比较多忧郁词汇、比较有feel？哈哈。

这篇本来没这么忧郁，只想带点蓝蓝的，都怪疯子给搞砸了。

过两秒再写一篇本来要写的开心事。

Like

2010-06-22T23:33:00.000+01:00

Since I don't really feel sleepy (although I feel a bit tired), just thought I'd write something random while waiting for a video to load, and for me to finally want to go to sleep.

'Like'.

If you are a resident of planet Earth (China excluded) and know what the In-ter-net is, then you know what I'm referring to. Yup, those 4 small cute blue letters under every Facebook post.

Ok, so I'll start by telling you my definition, or so to say, my way of using the 'like' button. Initially, I 'liked' posts that I liked. Okok, I hear you say "duhhh, who doesn't?". Let me continue. Later on, I realised that sometimes, I wanted to show support towards somebody or something, but didn't really have anything constructive in mind to say, or was probably too lazy to think of something. So I just 'liked'. It's easier, it's faster, it's straightforward, and hey, it's fun!

Then later later on, I realised my notifications were always filled with so-called 'spam' because I simply liked a post then a group of people (or sometimes just 2-3 crazy people) comment non-stop and use the post as a discussion board, usually for something irrelevant to the post itself. Ok up to this point I'll allow myself to digress a bit - I get really frus with people who leave tonnes of spammy comments!!!

Back to the topic. So because of this situation/phenomenon (bahh.. I duno what to term it), I started being cautious of what I 'liked'. If I saw a post having potential that it will be 'spammed', then it gets a big NO from me, even though it's something I would normally 'like'.

Someone once told me that someone told him/her that saying stuff like 'something lydat lahh' will actually deter one's ability to generate a genuine response towards another. (Actually I don't really remember exactly what the someone told me but I took it to mean that). So similarly with the 'like' button, I started to realise sometimes I 'liked' for the convenience of not needing to generate a personal response.

Just when I don't think the 'like' culture is all that healthy, Facebook starts allowing people to 'like' comments. So instead of a simple reply like 'haha, ya, I agree!', we can express that by a click, again. But I must admit though, liking a comment is a useful feature at times where there are dozens or even hundreds of comments to browse through and you don't know who's replying to who about what.

So (I guess) the main thing I wanna say is, the 'like' button can have it's pros and cons, and most of the time I see the cons. 'Liking' a post/comment feels more and more impersonal now.

Oh and don't get me started on the 'dislike' button that some people are rooting for. That's just going to create a lot of negativity in a place where spam is irritating enough. Lucky Facebook didn't implement it. Phewh~

And ya, somebody has now created a 'like' stamp for real life! Taa-daa!

All that said, I still 'like' posts that I like, but I've become more selective.

And I think I'm the only one who thinks so much about a simple Facebook feature when everyone is just happily using it the way they want without complaining a single thing.

Ok this served it's function of inducing sleep, for the writer and reader alike, so I'll just stop here.

我与胡说

2010-06-22T16:27:00.000+01:00

今天本来要去找回那张OTHC，可是找不到，店员也说很大可能卖了。啊！！！为什么当时犹豫不决没买下呢？？？唉，没缘，没办法~ 阿Q一点想，但愿那张卖出去的是第二版，不是我要找的第一版。（念力）：不是不是不是~

哈哈！还好啦，最后买了两张师兄，算是弥补心灵创伤。

回到家，用最快速度弄了点午餐，乖乖地坐在电脑前，开903来听。不是第一次听，可是访问太可爱了，而且也见证宣传部经理不是浪得虚名。

越花錢口袋鈔票越多
買一張飛毯飛到波爾多
去看我兩百歲的外婆
和我小時養的花豹波波

她請我喝香檳告訴我
上星期開始世界沒戰禍
而明年我愛上那一個
總留最後一片蛋糕給我

別理我愛胡說就胡說
你就不懂詩是什麼
超聲波曼陀羅
兩個東西放在一起有什麼沒什麼
我怎麼知道
我還沒有試過

管他的好結果壞結果
我只負責清心直說
是詩歌是胡說
一開始的時候聽來大概也差不多
所~以別煩我

帶一把吉他到處唱歌
幾千萬小孩從此不捱餓
網路上的沙發沒人坐
因為我們找到真的快活

別理我愛胡說就胡說
你就不懂詩是什麼
流行歌蔡李佛
電光火石碰出來的是造作是傑作
我怎麼知道
不過隨便說說

管他的好結果壞結果
我只負責想到就說
是詩歌是胡說
偉大夢想最初聽來大概也差不多
你~就讓我說

聽~詩在胡說

对，我就爱胡说，你别理。

Scary Holiday

2010-06-18T03:07:00.000+01:00

As a professional lazy bum, drama fanatic and online freak, I am definitely not unfamiliar with late nights/early mornings and then waking up at noon or in the afternoon. So I doubted that this holiday would be any different, but the universe never fails to provide me with surprises.

Since the exam, I think I've developed this ability (ya I know 'ability' sounds like exaggerating but I've already toned it down coz initially wanted to use 'super power'). Why do I say it's an ability? Because people who know me well should know that I enjoy sleep, and I'm not an easy person to wake. But for the past week, I keep waking up after sleeping for 4-5hours. Some of the times I was woken, most of the times I woke up automatically, but the important part is, I don't feel tired after waking! Usually if I don't sleep enough, I feel so tired that I want to continue sleeping. Aaaarrrrrrr!!!! This is scary!!!!!!! Tell me, am I growing old??!?!!?? T.T

And another thing. I don't sweat when I wake up, although the air-cond isn't on and my room can barely be considered ventilated. F-r-e-a-k-y.

Haha... It is good though. Coz I realise my sleeping pattern is coincidentally the same with g lately, haha! And I can go for whatever activities people go for in the mornings, breakfast, exercise, bla bla bla...

Ok ok. Maybe I should head out to the market for some breakfast. (but I usually lie to myself about that then continue to stay home). Ahhh holidays~

Exam afterthoughts

2010-06-13T20:59:00.001+01:00

Ou yeah ou yeahh... A-level is finally over!
Oh no oh no... A-level is over... @.@

Actually it was over June 11th but I'm only blogging about it now coz I was busy these past few days catching up on stuff I have missed this past month.

(This is a very long and boring post. You can stop reading now if you want to.)

This whole month has felt so surreal, like living in a different dimension. I can't honestly say I cut off all forms of entertainment and totally devoted myself to the book gods, in fact my proportion of leisure time has been more than my study time, something which the book gods (or the A-level examiner) will frown upon and punish me for. But there were times when I felt like it would be impossible to get past this whole thing. My whole body was basically functioning off caffeine. I tried to use Hor Yan Hor to counter the 'heaty' effect and salvage what the caffeine destroyed in me, but to what extent it worked I don't know. After about 2-3 weeks, I think the caffeine lost it's effect totally. Also, most of the time after studying halfway I just feel lazy to continue so I go off to sleep, then wake up hours later feeling like committing suicide. And the cycle goes on and on and on and on... Anyway after one month of living like a gargoyle, stone by day, creature by night (which is ironic coz my Facebook profile picture IS a gargoyle), my face is now......back to it's acne-ridden state. Arghh... Lucky my nights were not boring with the company of music, wb and c.

Elaborating on the exams, I felt like I wasn't fully prepared for ANY paper AT ALL. I only knew that I went in doubting how I would be able to write anything out or finish anything in time, and came out after writing a tonne of rubbish to scar the examiner's eyes. Sorry examiner, I didn't mean to do it on purpose. If I were the old me (erm primary or lower secondary me) I'd probably be freaking out after the way I answered every paper, but I think all this started to fade when I stepped into upper secondary and now - I totally feel numb about exams. I think the 'faded' stage in upper sec was healthy, but now this 'numb' stage is..... Err, even I'm a little worried, haha. And, as usual, when I tell people I felt I didn't do well, I get those comments. (Come on don't pretend you don't know what kind of comments I'm talking about, you were probably thinking those same comments 2 seconds ago.)

I dare not think of what my results will be. And worse, I dare not think of the consequences of these results. I keep thinking about my alternatives - find other unis in UK? Head to Aus instead? Even then, will Aus accept me? Switch back to psych? Stay here? (OMG that's the most horrifying alternative). What else???

Their expectations. I try to reason with them that nothing is certain, but they don't get it. Nobody gets it, but their denial of my situation is the worst form. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of living up to their blueprint of what my life should be. What do they know about studying? What do they know about what I actually want out of life? Which part of my life do they really care about? Or is it that they just care about the part of THEIR lives affected by mine? Old question, same answer - no answer.

*

Besides exams, some notable things have happened for this past month as well. I wanted to blog about all of it then, but chose to delay it till now. And in the end, I only remember one significant issue. Since it has passed (for me at least), I'm lazy to blog about it anymore. What I intended to say I have said, to accept or not is their choice.

*

So previously during the exam month, I kept thinking about stuff I wanted to do after the exams, and wrote them down in a list. I do have (at least) a few months of free time. Main plans are travel and learning some stuff. On the travel part, I still can't find the suitable person to go to the suitable place with me. In the end I'll probably compromise and go somewhere which wasn't the place I planned initially OR not go anywhere at all. I'm thinking the latter is more likely, coz I really don't wanna waste time and money going somewhere I don't really plan to go. Aiyo even leisure is stressing, wt... Other plans are just a list of movies/dramas I plan to watch or books/albums I wanna buy. Oh oh...and some exercise is long overdue.

Anyway, everything from this point on towards the future is vague. I just wanna live in my simple bubble for now. It's amazing how 2 worlds are formed. I'm lucky to be able to escape into the other world when the real world is too noisy. :)

Har?!

2010-05-30T16:50:00.000+01:00

Whoa, I simply posted a comment in a popular video in YouTube (over a million views) and I just checked, I'm the highest rated comment! No wonder I keep getting comments from people watching the video even after I've posted the comment sooo long ago. (Highest Rated Comments are above all comments if you're wondering what I'm talking about, and I checked because I kept getting feedback on my comment, which is quite annoying sometimes, hahaha)

Walau, what sort of day is this?

First Sentence 第一句

2010-05-30T14:52:00.000+01:00

做好自己每一件事情，就是最好的貢獻了

+ + +

2010-05-20T02:53:00.000+01:00

从昨天本来应该很轻松的心情，一看到你不开心，情绪莫名其妙被牵动了。
真的只有你能这样影响我，好事坏事？
压抑忧郁很久，又找不到平台发泄，FB WB 写出来感觉太草率，表达不了。那些人又一味在作无谓议论，在我看来根本不了解你。也不懂怎么安慰你了，惟有在这里写一写，顺道发送点正能量给你吧。

为什么突然这时候又出事？不懂也永远不会懂也不是追究懂不懂的时候了。
这条路，你都走了这么久，怎么现在动摇？我知道我知道，听到这样的话，你会以你那沉沉又无奈的口气说：“不是我动摇...”
坚持了这么多年，真的希望你会坚持下去。我也知道，你是想坚持的，不然不会说无限期。
希望你在“...哪一...”里说的，在你身上能再次实现。

离题一下。
我怀念YB时代。我知道我知道，你会说：“人是要向前的，没有之前的你怎么造就现在的你呢？” 而且，你也不要我们那么自私。唉，又要考虑那班人，妥协。
可是可是...
现在的你，好像给太多太快太滥太烂的资讯和太多人的眼光左右你要抒发的，细腻的情感就这样无疾而终了。你也逐渐厌倦了。
让小路变大路，有点眉目了，你却仿佛在大路上迷失。
如果这样，我宁愿永远走小路！“做人不可以那么自私...”又回响在耳边。
你就是那么伟大。

啊，其实我说这么多干嘛？依你的性格，你一定会想通的，不然就不会是我心目中的超人六了！
还是就是因为大家都把你当超人，遗忘了你也有脆弱的一面？
不、不。你是坚强的。你会走出阴霾的。小雾罢！
嗯，这样相信好了。

又下大雨了，保重。天，跟你提出交换，怎么只给我一两天？六月快到吧。

杂post.

2010-05-05T10:58:00.000+01:00

Ok, haven't done this in a long time, lemme warm up my fingers.

I realised I've changed a lot lately, obviously mainly because of no.6. :)

而且，有点太习惯打中文的感觉。也好啦，免得中文生锈。Errr, but如果英文生锈，那不就更惨？嘻...

A lot has happened, I don't know where to start. Most parts of this 'a lot' are things that I do not wish happened, and things I do not wish to re-state, repeat, record or remember.

Aihh, the more I think of the unknown the more I feel stressed out. Not actually stressed out lar, but nervous. There are some things that I still can't let go of. I need to let go. 最近看到一句话，大概是说，在还没成功之前，别把尊严看得太重。So I gotta reduce this spotlight effect to the minimum. My previous effort was not targeted in this area but now I should direct it towards this part of my life.

Using 'If-' by Rudyard Kipling as one of my motivation strategies now. 'Hold on.'
I think I'll incorporate it into my life from now on.

I deleted a whole chapter of notes from mt by mistake that day, that was depressing.
I can't always face these impacts. Too much too frequent. Lucky I was calm.

Starting to realise that once we go out of our railway track, it's a bumpy ride. Was the railway track good for us? No point evaluating now. I know there won't be railway tracks in front of me anymore, just roads and choices.

Lately a bit ADD. This post is evidence.

啊，看，久没写，思路一片混乱，而且三语之间徘徊。

Post之前重读一遍，发现语气带悲。我现在，有这么悲吗？不管了，post!

Anxiety Attack

2010-04-20T18:42:00.001+01:00

I think I'm having an anxiety attack.

Hyperventilating.

Migraine too.

***

Stop!

Focus!

Sing~

Continue.

Lazy Morning

2010-04-04T05:06:00.001+01:00

Slept at 5 this morning, woke at 10.30, oh buddha~ Feels like I didn't sleep at all, coz of the long (but gooood) dream I had while "asleep". Too good to be true, hence dream.

Anyway~

I realize mornings in A/S are sooo peaceful. Pg Sunday mornings are all about traffic jams, finding parking space at a hot (breakfast) spot, and finally - stress (even though you get your favourite breakfast), irony. Here in A/S, I can barely hear the sound of honking cars whizzing by. (Okok, maybe it's coz I don't stay near the main road. But seriously, the whole atmosphere IS different. And weirdly, I find that A/S mornings don't turn hot so fast. What I'm trying to say is in Pg, go out at 10am and you could be under skin-burning sun but in A/S, 10am is still ok. Weird coz islands are supposed to be cooler. But logic coz Pg faces urbanisation.....???

Anyway~

Those are just very subjective opinions and have no basis at all. I'm just extremely biased.

So...

I spent most of the morning I had left and re-read some old postings by c. True wisdom is so unnoticeable at times, hidden under humour and plain language. Good morning indeed.

But but but...

The word 'lazy' and activities such as random web-browsing and drama-ing shouldn't have any place in my life right now! Gotta work hard for the dream future (hmm I gotta think of a code name for this).

Oh ya did I mention I'm gonna watch a movie later this afternoon at 2pm (which is a movie I've watched twice already)??????

;P

hb19@30032010

2010-03-30T19:44:00.000+01:00

Don't like celebrating my own bday. Not coz of the common dislike of admitting an older age (please la i'm still young and 'ahem' cute ok???) Just feels weird.

But ok also la. Can be narcissistic for one day. lalala~

Thank u for the presents and wishes, people.

Oh ya, esp. gie, I will keep ur 'present' forever! Best~

Now let me show u my own present to myself:

Rawrrrrrrr!!!!!

Ok, good nite.

New Tradition of Early Birthday Presents...?

2010-03-22T15:13:00.001Z

So I already got ___ from che last month.

Then one day Daddy tells me he's giving me ___. Waaaaa....

And Mum asks if I want ___ as my birthday present when we're shopping together.

Is it because I'm past 18??? Is it because it's my last teenage year??? Why does nobody make an effort to surprise me with what they wanna give me anymore? sigh... I guess this is the point where I must admit I'm not a kid anymore. Or at least - that's what other people want me to admit! hahahahaha....

Nevermind. Forever young at heart. :D

Red.

2010-03-14T05:24:00.000Z

Look look... Me n CoCo wear the same colour! xD

Feeling goood Lately

2010-03-05T17:10:00.002Z

So much has happened since I last blogged. (Well, it should be quite obvious coz the last time I blogged was...errr....almost a month ago?...dunno, too long ago...)

Anyway, CNY happened. That's BIG. haha.. I did write a post in Chinese on the first night of CNY but saved it in my hp coz it was inconvenient to post it here at that time. But now I don't think I'm gonna post it anymore la. Interesting but nonetheless now irrelevant post.

Not everything has been smooth sailing though. I realise I'm becoming more and more like a slump, and sometimes even cross borders in doing things (or not doing things in this case) and slowly ruining my own future.

Oh no oh no.

Must pick the scattered pieces of meself up, and fast too. Trials and real A-Level are near.

Up till this point I hardly mentioned anything positive, so what's to feel good about?

Ah ha!

Something old, but now renewed, thanks to the video.
This new 'feel good' vibe gets me through everyday. It's better than ...
haha...

This is life-changing. I feel like I'm a better person in some ways sometimes.

See lah, this is why I didn't post for so long. Firstly coz I'm so preoccupied with this old/new obsession and secondly coz when I write about it I can't actually write about it and become all cryptic. Zzz..

Ahhh, almost forgot to write about the thing that gave me the urge to re-blog in the first place:

I've always liked this song. Now I like it more. I can't help but wonder if it's connected to a past (or ongoing?) experience? Freedom...freedom......

OMG this post so informal. Rare.

Blah.

Untitled

2010-01-21T13:18:00.002Z

If I didn't feel bored this afternoon, I wouldn't have drove out of college during my break.

If I didn't drive out of college, I wouldn't have passed their funeral procession.

There are so many things in life I'm not happy about, but apparently some of my problems, if rationally analysed, are just so minor. More importantly, I still have the chance to learn from my mistakes, I still have the chance to set some things right, and as ironic as it sounds - I still have the chance to make more mistakes.

#

Breathe...

2010-01-16T13:06:00.003Z

Suffering from breathing difficulty again.

Haven't experienced this since February or March last year. Why is this happening again now?

I breathe in but I can't feel any air entering my lungs at all. Plus a head-splitting migraine.

Feels so uncomfortable.

*Breathe..............*

Apply

2010-01-15T13:27:00.002Z

These 3 days have been so tiring!

I think I started on it on the 4th, and I decided to deal with the personal statement first, coz it should be the most time-consuming part.

I edited draft after draft for 2 weeks, letting che and Dougie review and improve it in between. So frustrating and tough to write about something when you don't feel such a direct passion or relation to it. Janice says she can't do it coz she's not vain enough, LOL.

Then only on the 13th I started to fill in the details and qualifications. This was the part where the "rally chats" (that's what I like to call the multi-person conversation between my new siblings and me, hahahaha...) really helped coz we could ask each other stuff directly. And all the jokes were good entertainment while filling in boring details. Thanks ya you two...!

I decided to work on the whole thing and complete it in 1 night, which lead to me sleeping at 6am that day. Lucky thing I had a choice of going to Maths Tutorial Group 1 in the morning or Group 2 in the afternoon. So I slept till 9am and headed out to college.

Funny part: I parked my car outside that day so I needed to walk past a parked lorry to get to it, and............bang! I hit my head against the side-mirror of the lorry. Ouch~ I can imagine how stupid I looked at that time. Haha... Proves that lack of sleep is hazardous.

Then was the whole process of getting the Reference "done". OMG this is the part I really hope will never happen again in any applications I make in the future. Fortunately it was settled in the end after all.

Oh ya that day after wishing ah heng happy birthday he called and it was so fun talking to him as always. And I spilled coffee (dripped la to be more accurate) on myself. And Janice drove my car! Exciting! =D

Second funny part: At the end of the day I was so tired when I reached home. Note: SO TIRED. When I walked towards the entrance, I pressed the 'Unlock" button on my car keys, thinking that my gate could be opened. Proves that lack of sleep makes you silly!

So you would imagine with everything sorted out, I should have submitted by 14th, but NO~ Things have to happen when you least expect or want them to. For the whole night I ended up being on the verge of nervous breakdown and doing things to occupy my time waiting for che to be free to review my final draft for me. I accidentally slept at 2am after being too tired and woke up with a shock at 5am. This whole process is just sleep depriving.

Today, 15th, classes from 8am to noon. Driving today was................. I don't know why the crazy drivers choose the day when I'm stressed and tired to test my patience. Crazy drivers, arghhh!!!!!!! Then because of the jam and some stupid reasons, I decided to go take a nap at the other house until the roads were clear again. It's so nice to be back in that house again, and sleeping on the couch is just so relaxing.

Then I went out for a late lunch with Mummy and Daddy. Daddy looks different today, better...? LOL. Whatever.

Around 5pm I'm finally back home and finalising my whole application and send it out. Instant relief! Faster than Panadol Actifast!!!

I haven't felt so relaxed for 2 whole weeks. Finally it's over!

So here's what I was thinking: 2010 has been quite good so far. I mean it's not perfect and smooth but the ups and downs are well in balance and personally I feel that I have better discipline and I spend time more productively now.

Oh did I mention Chuck and all my other TV shows are back from hiatus? Forget what I said about better discipline. Off to dramas now~

XD

New Year Resolutions for 2010

2010-01-01T20:11:00.002Z

1 day late, but important things cannot be neglected.

I understand that we can actually spur change any time, any day, as long as it is required for improvement. But sometimes we just need a reason for change, and in this case it’s the new year, when New Year Resolutions are made.

Differing from past years, I’m going to categorize my NY Res this year based on aspects of my life instead of using the old numbering system. Another major improvement (at least that’s what I think) would be laying out terms and rules and sidenotes etc stuff like that to sort of form a clearer outline of the resolution, and preventing myself from bending these resolutions too much by twisting of language or any other cunning method (which is a common attitude I have towards my previous resolutions).

O
Gybu rkbn pyb CDBKSQRD K%e2019c sx K-vofov dy kmrsofo dro evdswkdo qykv yp cdenisxq VKG sx k ZBOCDSQYEC EXSFOBCSDI sx EU. Xy wybo zbymbkcdsxkdsyx yx rywogybu. Pboaeoxd bofscsyx. Vocc pyyvsxq kbyexn. Cobsyec.

P
Qsfo ez yx mkbsxq kvdyqodrob yx pkwsvi wkddobc. Pymec yx DBEO SWZYBDKXD DRSXQC SX VSPO. Xy myxxomdsyxc, xy owydsyxc, xy wybo.

V
Xy bokv bovkdsyxcrsz pyb xyg (kd vokcd 1 iokb). Med ypp dbeo owydsyxc. Xy wybo sbbkdsyxkv ryzoc. Dbi wi locd dy oxtyi csxqvo vspo. Cswsvkb dy klyfo, PYMEC YX SWZYBDKXD WKDDOBC.

Nksvi Zbkmdsmoc
k. Okd kc wemr kc sc ceppsmsoxd dy cecdksx ofobinki kmdsfsdsoc. Ymmkcsyxkv dbokdc kvvygon led kfysn lsxqsxq. l. Ohobmsco kd vokcd yxmo k goou. Okci cdepp vsuo du kxn nkxmo gyevn lo tecd kc govv. k l : Qoxobkv snok sc dy lo psd kxn rokvdri. m. Xy cvoozsxq wybo drkx 10 ryebc yx ybwkv nkic. n. Lbecr doodr gkcr pkmo%e2026nk nk nk%e2026 iye uxyg dro nbsvv.

Kddsdeno
Cwsvo wybo, ofox sp pkuon. Cwsvo wybo, cwsvo wybo. Kfysn xoqkdsfo mrs. Cwsvo wybo.

Finances
Spend less. Save more. Nuff said.

Countdown and KMP Visit

2010-01-01T20:08:00.001Z

On New Year eve I met up with quite a number of friends (most importantly DARL of course) for a simple countdown. Errr, still sort of preferred last year, more private party, and Fish on TV, haha…

Then on the very first day of 2010, me, den, jx and ows had a fun road trip to the ‘famous’ KMP! Main purpose of visiting was to celebrate tcy’s be-earlied birthday, under her own instructions. Lalala… Second purpose was visiting old friends and touring the campus. They tell me it’s the smallest Matriks campus in Malaysia, wth??!!!

First me and den went and bought a cake at Kek Sayang, then we went and picked up jx and ows. Off we went! After much road searching, we finally reached KMP at 3pm.

First obstacle: KMP rubbish guard.
We were too obedient to stop down at the guard house, not to mention too stupid! We were stopped from proceeding into the campus by the rubbish guard although we should have been allowed to go in. In the end we decided to leave first and come back after 4pm and just drive through the guard house the next time. Haha.

Second obstacle: crazy Kangar.
So we went out to find food. Kangar was the nearest ‘food’, so we headed there. Kangar, colourful. Kangar, weird. Kangar, scary! Double-parking, traffic jams (jam jam jam jam jam according to jx), insufficient parking spaces and most adorably – a ‘BERHENTI’ sign in the middle of the road. OMB we laughed so hard. Crazier driving conditions than Penang, I never thought I’d see it here. Who knew such a small town packed so much ‘excitement’? In the end we finally decided to pay for a normal parking space inside a parking area two blocks away from KFC. Relief. We insisted on eating in KFC after so much hard work finding parking. XD

Then around 5pm we went back to KMP for a small celebration. tcy paiseh… rare, haha. Oh ya we gave her the free gift from the KFC combo. LOL we’re a bunch of cheapskates. A brief tour later, we were home-bound.

Fun road trip. =)

Happy New Year @ 2010

2010-01-01T19:53:00.002Z

Good riddance to 2009, zbfg cebonoyl bar bs gur jbefg lrnef bs zl yvsr hc gb guvf qngr. %h2018Ubeevoyr ubeevoyr ubeevoyr%h2019 vf na haqrefgngrzrag. Znal fghcvq qrpvfvbaf, znal haunccl vapvqragf.

Gur Fvatncber Rkcrevrapr.

Gur E.E.

Gur S.P.

V ungr 2009. Zl yvsr fcha bhg bs pbageby naq artngvivgvrf fubg ng zr sebz yrsg naq evtug naq prager. V qba%h2019g yvxr gur unovg bs oynzvat yhpx. Ab fhpu guvat. Fbzr jbhaqf, zbfg jbhaqf, ner frys-vasyvpgrq.

Gur bayl tbbq ovgf bs 2009 jnf sebz from 18th December till 31st December V fhccbfr. V qvqa%h2019g gnxr n ohapu bs cvpgherf gb cbfg ba Snprobbx be nalguvat, ohg V rawblrq fvzcyr naq cynva unccvarff orvat zl gehr frys. N ovt gunaxf gb zl gehr sevraqf.

V ernyyl qb ubcr gung va 2010 guvatf pna punatr, naq jvyy punatr. Znlor abg sbe gur svefg unys bs gur lrne vs V jrer gb guvax ernyvfgvpnyyl, ohg ng yrnfg nsgre V znantr gb YRNIR URYY. Gung%h2019f jul zl hygvzngr tbny fubhyq nyjnlf or va sbphf.

2010, a better year, hopefully.

\13

My Four Personalities

2010-01-01T19:49:00.003Z

I have felt this for a long time now, but this is the first time I’m blogging about it. I find that I am a person with four (or maybe more) personalities.

-

Personality A
This personality I consider as the real me. Cheerful, sociable, high, outgoing, friendly, helpful, non-materialistic… Mainly a positive and optimistic person with a happy-go-lucky attitude. Very determined in thinking and goal-oriented, but still playful. Quite rational, evaluates situations in various perspectives before making conclusions or decisions. Tries to resolve problems, believes in world peace (sounds naïve). Tough attitude.

Personality F
Extremely emo. Socially awkward. Acts a younger age than the actual one i.e. immature to the max. Does not care about others’ feelings. Rebel. Impulse-oriented. Avoids reality and shuts down from the real world through music and movies and dramas. (dramas! ♥)

Personality P
This one’s tricky. ‘P’ can be very sociable and outgoing and even at times crazy, but this is just a surface. All that cheery appearance of ‘P’ is more a mask than actual feelings. P is materialistic and a spend-thrift, easily influenced by media, peers and just about anything or anyone. Does not know how to weigh the importance of things, and almost always makes rotten decisions. Plain stupid. Occasionally emo. Irrational and impulsive. Fragile as glass.

Personality S
Somewhere between ‘A’ and ‘P’. More original, less masking. Also occasionally emo. Respects people who deserve it. Slightly rebellious against rules, but nonetheless follows them. Ambitious. Freedom lover.

-

‘A’ and the other three form strong contrasts in many cases. There is a core personality though. Neat freak is an example of a trait in my core personality. Also, I don’t deny that some of these personalities intersect, but I know that I am a different person when I am around different people or in different situations.

Lately I have realized that ‘P’ is eating up ‘A’ and ‘F’. I have been wanting to write about this for a few days now, so when I first thought about it, I had an ultimate goal to erase ‘F’, ‘P’ and ‘S’ and solely live by ‘A’. But some thinking earlier today made me want to continue these personalities and just be different persons to different groups of people in my life.
This is my dilemma now, should I continue with my masks or let all see the true me?

If I leave it for things to take it’s natural course, that would be passive, a trait of ‘P’.

If I make a decision about it, this shows the decisive nature of ‘A’.

If I make a stupid decision though, that’s ‘P’ again.

Schizophrenia, challenging.

Dreams and Coincidences

2009-12-15T09:50:00.004Z

I use to have a dream that I'm not sure if it was a dream or was it reality but just because it happened so long ago it's all blurry in my head and I mistook it as a dream. It's about going up to an ulu hill resort and visiting some kind of bird park or something.

Then there were a few instances when I dreamt about scary stuff like being in a Diablo game and being attacked by evil ghouls and stuff. Mind you some of these dreams were like serial dramas with consecutive episodes every night. Evidence of too much gaming when young.

Since there's mention of scary dreams, there should be a favourite one. I think it was a week ago that I had this absolutely amazing dream where... ... OK, nuff said.

And last night I dreamed about Arius. Unbearably cute!!!

***

Moving on, this is something I've wanted to blog for a very long time. It's about the coincidences in my life. I think from now on I'll give it a label of it's own. There's been more than thousands of these coincidences I think, but here are a few small examples:

...I'm listening to my dated Stefanie Sun songs again lately, and suddenly I see one of her MVs on TV...

...I just finished watching E.U. that day and I turn on TV then see 江若琳 on...

...I heard Hips Don't Lie on the car radio just before parking and when I enter a supermarket they keep repeating Shakira's concert video of that song...

...I wanted to do some reading on Stockholm Syndrome yesterday and then it was mentioned on the latest of episode of Betty, which I watched yesterday!...

...and many more which I can't remember now.

I've been told that horoscopes are unreliable due to the fact that it's too general like for example when they say something about financial woes or being emotionally disturbed today, you would notice events related to that aspect, and usually if as "predicted" something happens - which it probably would because of such general statements - it'll get you thinking how mystical horoscope predictions are! Having said so much I have to admit I still read my star sign predictions for fun. Haha..

Anyway, before I digress too far, what I wanna say is that all these may just be coincidences that - only until it happens - you start to assign (dunno if this is the right word, English getting rusty lately) it a certain significance.

But I do find that coincidences happen too frequently sometimes, so I wanna record some down, for no other reason that it being...COOL!